Hi Dale, I’m sure that you’ve seen my mother up in heaven with you. I’m hoping that she is as beautiful as she was when she was young. I also hope that she is happy being with my father, her sister, and all her family and friends who have passed before her. Give her a big hug for me, Sweet Dale. Tell her I love her. I don’t think she quite understood me when I told her over the phone some weeks ago.
Mom’s memorial was today. I was unable to attend, for a number of reasons. I’ve been whining about my issues I’ve been having with my sister – but the whining has to stop. Money was a huge issue. I would have had to pay for not only airfare, but the hotel and car rental. Plus, my right knee is still all jacked up. I honestly think that the flight to Houston last year had a contributing effect on what is wrong with my knee. Flying out for the memorial would have made me so nervous – I just can’t be in a wheelchair again.
The last few days have dredged up so many feelings that I had thought I had put behind me. I kept remembering how horrible I felt when you passed away. I was so scared. I’m not scared now, and I think my distance (in miles) from my mother has made it easier for me to cope with her passing. But, the feeling of loss is tightening my heart again.
My life still has to go on though.
I’ll always love you…
Sweet Dreams My Love,